The other woman/why he is never blamed.

      So, that evening, I sat in a salon close to my street filled with group of girls who have come to perm,  relax, fix and braid their hairs. Their chit - chats filling  the room in a cacophony of noises while I sat reading a magazine with honey - colored girls on the cover, my eyes focused on the black -printed words.

   Salons are like  a harbour for 'gossip' between and within girls their conversations always evolving from makeup,  fashion,  weddings, and boys too. I am the type that usually sits quietly while await my turn either to curl my hair or fix my nails, not joining in their wild conversations. But that Saturday evening, as it drizzles their noisy conversations evolved to the 'other woman' talks.
   "They are demonic bitches" raged one of the lady braiding her hair into thick box-braids.
"They can't get their own men.They are home wrecks."

How?

Were they not chased by this men who find them attractive, sexy and voluptuous?

  I know if I was more years younger I would have definitely supported her statement with vigor.  How those girls who date married men are heartless and probably stupid to know that this men have wives and girlfriends. Then would go on and on about how the other woman disgusts me to the nerves.

  I have come to understand that the other woman does not decide this for herself rather a man does. She didnt ask for that, there is nothing about home - wrecking about the other woman.
  
  Maturity have made me know that she is not the only one involved in this act of being the second best in a man's life.

  Why then is the man never  blamed? No he is not accused of the home wrecks and heart breaks.

   In African context , it is very okay for a man to cheat as far as he does not get caught but for a woman she is a ho. And more is expected of her to learn to be forgiving of his shortcomings.

  Putting the whole blame on the other woman sugarcoats the childishness of men.

   We should learn to weigh this factors when it comes to the other woman and stop going gangster on her. Why do we fight her and embarrass yourselves because you think she is  the ho who cant get her own man. So did she just get into your man's life she was wooed like you were. If someone is to be blamed it should be him not her.