Whupping Our Children, Won't Save Them

Photo credit lexonart

   For my age then,  I was loud and stubborn only at home , not in public places, in school I never had my name on the noise makers list. It's a thing of confusion when my form mistress, sees my name on the list. 

    But at home,  I was normally beaten with a belt or a broom, by my mom.  She's this easily angered woman with a temper, hardly in for anybody's nonesense. She nags your nerves out of you, once I was getting pissed off by her nags, I talked back at her. I didn't know where that came from, the next minute, I was on the floor covered in broken broomsticks , that broke on my skin, and pierced me. 

   I gave her the silent treatment, through the day, refusing to eat her food.  She just chuckles at you, a smirk crawling down her lips.  She talks to you then, about what you have done. 

  Dad,  was the opposite, never raises his hand on us, he scolds you. And then talks to you. Since, dad was often home late, and had to travel often because of his job. Mom was always the one whupping our ass. Did it save me? Maybe not?. I chose my own way, and who I wanted to become.  I was always reading books and books to care to play out often, or have a squad of friends that influenced me. 

  This would be a direct opposite on some other kid, whupping can do two things to a child and it depends on the kind of children they are, make them act right and damage their self esteem ,or they become stubborn . They become unusually quiet and reserved or try to become more stubborn.

The aftermath of this whupping when a child becomes unusually quiet damages their self esteem, they become broken adults who can't speak for themselves or make decisions. The latter, becomes aggressive and stubborn, and shows an unwillingness to act right. 

 What happened to the show of love and words? Talking about things he /she had done wrong, rather whupping. I believe in Africa, we believe in not sparing the rod not too often, this can be seen in the way we treat our children. I have heard stories of how mothers had burned their daughters and sons with irons, fathers slapped the freaking daylight of them. For some, you stamp fear in their hearts, and others you squeeze the rebellion in them out. In both ways, whupping our children won't save them. 

 As long as I don't support whupping our children, I don't so much believe in the westernised ways foreigners raise their children. This is what I believe, I believe we should raise our children by loving them, saying to the boys and girls 'I love you ', as little as they are, as you lift them up from the tubs after a bathe. Scold them too, but mildly, scold them with love not condemnation. Talk to them, be their friends and not their foes. But have a firm stance about what you teach them, the right and wrong. Let them make their own decisions, and trust them a enough to make the right choices. Whupping children won't save them, take note African parents.