Daring to Feel #masculinity#

               

 Emotions, don't make you weak.

   We grew with the sense, that it's a normal thing for a girl to always cry, express herself, but not fully herself, her twisted shape to be likeable. Whereas, so much were expected from the boys, not to cry, to show hardly emotions, the more emotion they were taught, was to be angry, just angry, about everything. Mama, always yanked at my little brother's ear when we were young, when he cried, such words like, "Are you a girl, why are crying like one? " were said to him.

    We teach boys to be hard men, and put them in this hard cage called masculinity. We teach them to be afraid of fear, vulnerability and to mask their true selves.  The pressure to prove masculinity begins, he believes he should be hard, the more a hard man he is compel to be, the weaker his ego is. Emotions are what he is taught not to show.

  I can't really remember how my life was as a teenager, but I knew I didn't show much emotions especially when it comes to boys, how I felt, I wasn't sure I was bluntly honest the way I was now. In high school, I was quiet and a nerdy girl who loved her silence, I wasn't capable of emotions then, I wasn't able to express my feelings. Till one day, a bully got me angry, very angry, my classmates never thought I was capable of being angry, and standing up to him telling him how I felt about his bullshit.
 
 Many girls have grown up thinking emotional is weak, some thinking she wasn't meant to express or talk about feelings, and others fully expressing themselves especially in tears and cater to the fragile egos of men.

   We have made gender to prescribe how we should be not how we are. So, you are girl, and you are in your menes, having those hormones, craving for something sweet or throwing tantrums and getting angry, angry at everything, maybe crying, they tag you emotional. Society expect women not to feel, to be ashamed that they show too emotions.

  Why shouldn't she?  She is a human being who has emotions.  Thus, a woman can be beautiful, brilliant and independent, does mean we set standards for her, standards of being a boss, we show her how a man is, a hard man. We expect this from them, because emotions makes you weak.

  Masculinity isn't measured by how much, men mask their true selves, their vulnerability, their tears, it takes greater courage for someone to tell what they feel, what hurts them, their fear( we all  have fears, it could be even be fear of fear, men are guilty of this telling us how they don't have any fear), their feelings, that's strength.

  To be strong, independent, we prescribe not showing emotions, being hard.  I'm a lady, I believe in my independence, I'm brilliant and beautiful, I believe in my emotions, apart from being bluntly honest about what I'm feeling, I cry too and not ashamed to say,  I have moments that I break down.  It's okay, and quite natural. It's okay having emotions, showing them, don't allow your emotions to control you, own it and feel it.
  My brother, Chimaobi, is not yet a full grown man, he's taller than me, he does not know this things called, 'Masculinity',  but he's kind, he cries when he's hurt.