My Demons

My Demons 

  I will to hide the truth with my beasts inside, when the days are cold, I just want to cuddle under the covers and feel the heat with folds grasped between my fingers, it is dark outside, it will be, the rumble of the dark clouds as it pours white sheet of rain. It is dark in my heart too. I am the mess you made. 

 Yesterday is like every other day, and if you come closer, you will see where my demons hide, what am I and who I have become, the demons hide in my soul. Don't you get too close, but you did. I don't want to hide the truth, but I am a mess you know this. You know those nights, I wake up and toss around, I yell, but my pitch is always muffled by the way you hold my head on your chest. My head cradled between your arms so my breathing slows down, then you look me right into my eyes, you see my demons, I see them in my dreams too. 

  I just want to be alone, sit down and watch the raindrops falling, and listen to jazz which I play laying face up, staring at nothingness, it is dark inside, I often tell you, and place a hand on my chest where I think my heart is. If you come closer you will see them, it lays there to torment me, it tells me how I am not so flawless. 

  Onions don't make me cry again, when I slice them, but I find myself cry, I see how misty my eyes get often, I think I am a sucker for pain; my demented dysfunction.  I might cut my hair off, maybe my throat, the demons they raged in me, I might choke. I am a lost soul. I don't feel shit anymore. But there are nothing but pain. 

  I'm waking up to the ashes and dust, and I sweep my rugs, I breathe in, this is it, my demons. I feel it in my bones. I'm owning it, my demons, it's a new age. It's a revolution, I'm breaking in, to fit right in , with my demons.