MY DEFINITION OF SEXY #thingstounteachgirls#
I thought to be sexy you had to wear tight skirts that rounded your buttocks and made you have a shape like the '8' or more like the coke cola bottle shape; a shapely and curvy woman. Those kind of skirts made you walk funny, sometimes like someone carrying Shiite behind.
Maybe it’s because I din’t feel like I fit the mold. After all we learn, from the time we are young girls, what makes a woman sexy. Just look inside the pages of a fashion magazine or watch reality TV or go see a big Hollywood blockbuster. Images of stereotypical female “sexiness” abound: She’s buxom with long flaxen hair, batting her feather-like eyelashes, applying cherry red lipstick on that perfect full-lipped pout, always the object of another man’s gaze.
The Media and magazines are trying to sell us this idea of what a sexy woman is, what she looks like, smells like, what products she uses, what she wears. Subtly, and not so subtly, telling us that this is what you should look like.
As young girls, the idea of what we are supposed to look like is thrown in our face at almost every turn, from the actresses on magazine covers and in movies to the women in music videos, to scantily clad female superheroes in comic books. Even those women who sell us household products in advertisements conform to a particular aesthetic. There is no denying the ever present pressure on a woman to fit a particular mold, to be attractive, to be sexy.
Society, men and the media then defines the standards. We then worry about being sexy and media try to teach us how to be sexy in the right way. Right way? Numerous remedies to make women embrace the culture of sexy emerges for that ranging from hair removal, to plastic surgery, to weight loss supplements and gym memberships. From cosmetic creams that slow down the aging process, to makeup that enhances your appearance. The media tells us that with a little work on our parts we too can achieve this level of sexy that seems almost required of us.
They try to define sexy but sexy is individualistic which we can get to define ourselves.
The first is that there is no ‘wrong’ way to be sexy. The amount of skin that she chooses to reveal does not determine her character or her moral code.We live in a society that sees things different and even if we, as women, reject the notion of slut shaming the battle to fight these stereotypes is far from over.
Secondly, there is no way to be sexy. Sexy is a state of the mind. It can lie in appearance or in your personality. Being sexy is a single stand out feature or a memorable mannerism. Sexy can come dressed in short shorts and heels but it can also be decked out in a pair of comfy sweats and graphic tee. Sexy can be ultra feminine in lace or in leather with tattoos. It can be seen in extroverts and introverts. There is no defining look, shape or trait.
The idea of sexiness is ephemeral, like sex itself. It's not about trying to embody that size 0/Victoria secret model look.
It comes from simply identifying what makes you feel good about yourself. The CONFIDENT woman is poised and self-assured yet doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She knows how to hold her own but isn’t afraid to step out of the spotlight once in a while. She speaks up; she knows when to listen. She locks eyes with you and makes you feel like the only person in the room. She delights in her strong laugh which she thows her back and isn’t afraid to laugh at herself, too. She is sexy.
It could be in the shape of your legs, the witty comments you interject into conversations, the dimples of your smile or even your extensive knowledge of Harry Potter trivia.
Define your sexy. Its time for women to take back what it means to be sexy. To create it, make it and craft out who they are by accepting their individual definitions.
#thingstounteachgirls#
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